I could not agree more that this is what a marriage should be. Imagine how much more beautiful and enriching your marriage could be with this type of relationship.
This type of relationship is one in which both people admit to the value of it and each other. They make a commitment to each other, a commitment to work toward intimacy and a deeper love in a monogamous state. Each person takes the responsibility to fashion a separate life, however, and each finds ways to fulfill needs without expecting the other person to meet all needs.
In a loving, committed relationship, partners listen to each other. They listen acceptingly and uncritically. They listen in a way that helps the troubled person reach solutions, rather than in a way that insults, demeans, or impedes understanding. Instead of ignoring, they listen. And they do not try to "fix" the problem.
Each person hears what the other asks, and if it does not interfere with their own well-being, each will offer a part of himself to fulfill the request. And, in turn, they will ask to have some of their needs, wants and wishes fulfilled. Neither will stand in the way of the other's development.