Monday, September 28, 2009

The Essence of Marriage - September 29, 2009

I could not agree more that this is what a marriage should be. Imagine how much more beautiful and enriching your marriage could be with this type of relationship.

This type of relationship is one in which both people admit to the value of it and each other. They make a commitment to each other, a commitment to work toward intimacy and a deeper love in a monogamous state. Each person takes the responsibility to fashion a separate life, however, and each finds ways to fulfill needs without expecting the other person to meet all needs.
In a loving, committed relationship, partners listen to each other. They listen acceptingly and uncritically. They listen in a way that helps the troubled person reach solutions, rather than in a way that insults, demeans, or impedes understanding. Instead of ignoring, they listen. And they do not try to "fix" the problem.
Each person hears what the other asks, and if it does not interfere with their own well-being, each will offer a part of himself to fulfill the request. And, in turn, they will ask to have some of their needs, wants and wishes fulfilled. Neither will stand in the way of the other's development.
-Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse 

Monday, September 14, 2009

Daylight - September 14, 2009

Each day
I rise with the

Thought of light
the roaring brightness,
en-lighted contrast

Of beams and rays
in a medley of grace

I stand before
the earth and chase
darkness towards
the flames
deep beneath the
universal traits
you are my fame

Daylight desires
opening a cycle

Of nocturnal's
painting away the night
giving birth
to a new life
a new day...

a simple chapter
starting with a thought
that spoke of


Sunday, September 13, 2009

Saying Yes to Love - September 13, 2009

"I slept, but my heart was awake," says the beloved in Song of Songs. there is a level at which all our hearts are always saying yes to love, regardless of how dulled or preoccupied our conscious minds are and regardless of how unloving our actions may be. Saying yes to love is a state in which we awaken to turn ourselves, intend ourselves, toward that which our hearts have been wanting all along.
I find it immensely reassuring to know that deep within myself, and with all my sisters and brothers, something is always and irrevocably saying yes to love, wanting to grow into fulfillment. It helps me be more compassionate with myself and others when we fail so miserably at loving one another. It also reminds me that the journey toward greater love is not something to be instilled in people; it is already there to be tended, nurtured and affirmed.
Moments of contemplation, moments of realizing being in love, are times when the sporadic consciousness of our minds approaches the constant wakefulness of our hearts. It is given to us, as if someone or something has said, "Hey, wake up! Here you are! Look! Taste! See! Appreciate!" It happens in little spaces and pauses, between thoughts, between activities, between demands, between breaths.
Because we keep ourselves so dull and occupied most of the time, I am certain that these awakenings come from the power of God's grace, weaving itself through our moments and circumstances, calling us to notice the wonder of our being and empowering us, if we so choose, to intend ourselves toward our deepest desire. Grace comes as a gift. We can neither earn it nor make it happen. But grace invites us to participate; it needs our involvement.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Keeping Still - September 08, 2009

If you have ever watched ants at work on a bare patch of lawn, you have seen us. They scurry this way, stop, scurry that way. They labor under the weight of the crumb they carry just so far before abandoning it. They meet and part, disappear into the grass and appear again or never do. Small things loom large-the fallen leaf, the rusty nail. Large things go unnoticed-the sky, the house, the enormous face in the air. They keep busy on their tiny errands.
Life is busyness for all of us. Keeping still comes harder. But stillness comes. Even the ant lays down her crumb. Even at our busiest and on the move, something within us pauses from time to time between the rusty nail and the fallen leaf, between stops on the subway, between laying down the pen and picking it up again. We keep still, and we dream.
By quieting our minds and keeping still, maybe most of all by just letting up on ourselves and letting go, I think we can begin to put ourselves back in touch with that glory and joy we come from and begin moving out of the shadows toward something more like light.

Monday, September 7, 2009

A Time to Believe - September 07, 2009


To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning.
It is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come true.

To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,
To know the wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies within us.
When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.

To believe is to know we are not alone,
That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know that wonderful surprises
are just waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

If only we believe.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Beautiful Reflection of Life - September 6, 2009

As you travel through life there are always those times
when decisions just have to be made,
when the choices are hard and solutions seem scarce
and the rain seems to soak your parade!

There are some situations where all you can
do is to simply let go and move on,
gather courage together and choose a direction
that carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward.
The process of change can be tough.
But think about all the excitement ahead,
if you can be stalwart enough!

There could be adventures you never imagined
just waiting around the next bend
and wishes and dreams just about to come true
in ways you can't yet comprehend!

Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new interests,
as you challenge your status quo
and learn there are so many options in life,
and so many ways you can grow!

Perhaps you'll go places you never expected
and see things that you've never seen,
or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds and
wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you'll find warmth, affection and caring,
a "somebody special" who's there
to help you stay centered and listen with interest
to stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends
are supportive of all that you do
and believe that whatever decisions you make,
they'll be the right choices for you!

So keep putting one foot in front of the other
and taking your life day by day.
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road.
Don't look back, you're not going that way!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

We Will Take Wings and Fly - September 01, 2009

This month marks a year since the passing of my beautiful husband, Vicente A.M. Flores. Vicente was taken so violently and suddenly from my life that I did have to  "cocoon" for awhile to continue. This is to share with so many that We Can Fly and Smile Again.

-Neva Flores

The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.
We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're going through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain and be disciplined. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress and change.
It is okay to allow oursleves to "cocoon" during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that something new and exciting is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.