We Will Take Wings and Fly - September 01, 2009

This month marks a year since the passing of my beautiful husband, Vicente A.M. Flores. Vicente was taken so violently and suddenly from my life that I did have to  "cocoon" for awhile to continue. This is to share with so many that We Can Fly and Smile Again.

-Neva Flores

The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.

We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.

Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.

It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're going through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain and be disciplined. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.

We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress and change.

It is okay to allow oursleves to "cocoon" during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that something new and exciting is being created within us.

Before long, we will take wings and fly.

-Melody Beattie